US Military Mistakes Venezuelan Drug Boat for Luxury Cruise, Issues Formal Apology to Caribbean Tourism Board
The United States military killed 11 suspected drug traffickers in a targeted strike against a vessel departing from Venezuela, marking a significant escalation…
Corporate America Discovers Diversity Was Just a Fad, Thousands of Chief Diversity Officers Shocked to Learn They Were Hired as Human Shields
Companies nationwide express surprise that DEI roles involved actual work beyond checking boxes, with many CDOs realizing they were essentially expensive corporate mood rings.
Congress Returns From Vacation Shocked to Discover They Still Have Jobs Requiring Actual Work
Lawmakers express confusion about having to actually govern instead of just campaigning, with several requesting orientation materials on ‘what Congress does.’
Pentagon Solves Immigration Crisis by Deploying People Who Usually Handle Court Martials as Civilian Judges
Military lawyers who normally prosecute soldiers for missing formation now tasked with determining asylum cases after ‘intensive’ 5-day civilian law crash course.