President Shocked Federal Judge Expects Him to Follow Basic Court Rules During Press Freedom Assault
**TAMPA, FL** — President Donald Trump expressed genuine bewilderment Thursday after a federal judge dismissed his $15 billion defamation lawsuit against The New York Times for violating basic court procedures, sources report the commander-in-chief was “visibly confused” by the concept that even presidents must follow filing requirements. “I thought when you sue fake news, you […]
ABC Discovers Revolutionary Comedy Strategy: Eliminating Comedy When Government Doesn’t Find It Funny
**LOS ANGELES** — Disney’s ABC network announced this week they have solved their late-night comedy problem through the groundbreaking strategy of removing comedy when federal regulators express displeasure, demonstrating what media executives are calling “the most sophisticated application of government-approved entertainment that modern broadcasting has ever produced.” The innovative approach, which officials describe as “Proactive […]