HOLLYWOOD – In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry, major studio executives announced yesterday they have been approaching film production entirely wrong by starting with marketing campaigns instead of actual plots.
The discovery emerged during a routine development meeting when someone accidentally asked “what happens in this movie?” and realized no one in the room could answer without consulting demographic research data.
“We’ve been so focused on creating content that tests well with target audiences that we forgot movies are supposed to have beginnings, middles, and ends,” explained Universal Pictures executive Sarah Martinez while holding what appeared to be her first actual screenplay. “Turns out stories need to make sense even without focus group approval.”
The revelation has prompted an industry-wide reevaluation of current production methods, which have traditionally prioritized merchandise potential and sequel opportunities over narrative coherence.
“It’s fascinating,” noted film analyst Dr. Richard Chen. “They’re essentially discovering storytelling for the first time. Next week they’re planning to experiment with something called ‘character development’ where people in movies actually change over the course of the plot.”
Several major studios have reportedly hired “story consultants” – traditionally published novelists and playwrights who understand concepts such as “conflict resolution” and “thematic consistency” – to help adapt their existing intellectual property into actual narratives.
The announcement has caused concern among marketing departments, who worry that movies with coherent plots might be more difficult to promote through fragmented trailer clips and celebrity cameo appearances.
Early test screenings of “story-first” films have shown promising results, with audiences expressing unusual levels of engagement and what focus group coordinators describe as “emotional investment in character outcomes.”
The industry plans to fully transition to story-based filmmaking by 2026, pending approval from merchandising partners and international distribution agreements.