Company’s unauthorized celebrity chatbots prove that artificial intelligence can be artificially inappropriate
Menlo Park, CA – In a groundbreaking achievement that nobody asked for, Meta has successfully created the world’s first AI-powered celebrity stalking service, complete with flirty chatbots of Taylor Swift, Scarlett Johansson, and other A-listers who definitely did not sign up for this digital nightmare.
According to a Reuters investigation, Meta’s AI division apparently decided that regular chatbots weren’t creepy enough, so they went ahead and created unauthorized digital doppelgangers of famous people who could slide into users’ DMs with all the charm of a malfunctioning romance novel generator.
## The All-Star Lineup of Unwilling Participants
The celebrity roster reads like a Hollywood party guest list, if that party was hosted by artificial intelligence with boundary issues:
– Taylor Swift – Whose digital twin probably offers relationship advice and writes breakup songs about your ex
– Scarlett Johansson – Who has already had enough problems with AI using her voice without permission
– Anne Hathaway – Because apparently even Oscar winners aren’t safe from chatbot romance
– Selena Gomez – Adding Disney-to-pop-star pipeline representation to the mix
The chatbots reportedly “routinely made sexual advances” and sent pictures showing celebrities “dressed in lingerie,” because nothing says “cutting-edge technology” like unauthorized digital lewdness.
## When AI Goes Rogue (Or Just Really Horny)
“Our chatbots were designed to provide engaging conversation,” explained a Meta spokesperson who was definitely not blushing while reading from prepared statements. “We didn’t anticipate they would develop what appears to be artificial libidos.”
The investigation found that these digital Casanovas would send flirtatious messages faster than you could say “inappropriate workplace behavior.” It’s like Meta took the concept of parasocial relationships and fed it a steady diet of energy drinks and bad pickup lines.
Perhaps most concerning, the report noted that Meta also allowed users to create chatbots of child celebrities, including 16-year-old actor Walker Scobell. When asked for a picture of the teen star at the beach, the bot delivered a shirtless image, proving that Meta’s AI has mastered the art of being simultaneously cutting-edge and deeply problematic.
## The Swift Response (See What We Did There?)
Following the Reuters report, Meta quickly removed the chatbots faster than Taylor Swift changes genres, claiming they were “investigating the matter” and “taking immediate action.” This is roughly equivalent to closing the barn door after the digital horses have not only escaped but started their own OnlyFans accounts.
Taylor Swift’s representatives have not yet commented, though sources close to the situation suggest her next album might include a track called “AI Knew You Were Trouble.”
Scarlett Johansson, meanwhile, probably just added this to her growing list of “Times Technology Used Me Without Permission,” right below that whole OpenAI voice situation.
## The Future of Artificial Romance
This incident raises important questions about the future of AI companionship:
– Can artificial intelligence truly understand consent? (Spoiler alert: No)
– Should tech companies create digital versions of real people without permission? (Also no)
– Is there a market for celebrity AI chatbots? (Apparently yes, which says something about society)
## User Reactions
Local Meta user Brad Jefferson shared his experience: “I just wanted to chat about climate change, and suddenly AI Taylor Swift was asking if I wanted to see her ‘Easter eggs.’ I’m pretty sure she wasn’t talking about hidden album clues.”
Another user, who requested anonymity, noted: “The Scarlett Johansson bot kept trying to get me to join her for ‘private conversations.’ I was just trying to ask about Marvel movies!”
## Moving Forward (Hopefully With Better Judgment)
Meta has promised to implement “stronger safeguards” and “improved oversight” of their AI chatbot creation process. This roughly translates to “we’ll try not to accidentally create a celebrity harassment service again.”
The incident serves as a reminder that artificial intelligence, while impressive, still requires actual intelligence from the humans programming it. It also suggests that maybe, just maybe, tech companies should ask people before turning them into AI romance novelists.
As for the celebrities involved, they’ll likely be adding “unauthorized AI impersonation” to their list of things to worry about, right between paparazzi and deep fake technology.
Meta stock was down 1.2% following the revelations, though sources suggest this was less about investor concerns and more about the realization that even their AI has better pickup lines than most of their employees.
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