SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a groundbreaking business move that has venture capitalists applauding and artificial intelligence researchers frantically updating their résumés, XeneralAI announced this week that they have discovered an innovative approach to reducing operational costs: eliminating the humans who teach their AI systems how to work.
“We had this incredible breakthrough moment,” explained XeneralAI CEO Marcus Disruptington during a press conference held entirely by hologram to save on travel expenses. “We realized we were paying hundreds of data annotation specialists to sit around all day telling our AI what things are. Like, why do we need humans to tell a computer that a picture of a cat is a cat? Can’t the computer just… figure that out?”
The company laid off approximately 500 data annotation workers last Tuesday, describing the move as a “strategic pivot toward autonomous learning paradigms.” The terminated employees, who had been responsible for training the company’s flagship AI system “Grok-X,” were reportedly replaced with a single intern whose job description simply reads: “Ask ChatGPT what to do.”
Initial results of the cost-saving initiative have been mixed. While XeneralAI’s quarterly expenses dropped by 60%, their AI system has begun identifying all images as “definitely a sandwich” and has started every conversation with users by asking for their social security numbers.
“Look, there were some minor hiccups,” admitted Chief Technology Officer Janet Buzzword-Thompson, speaking from her new office in the company’s recently purchased third yacht. “But our algorithm is learning! Yesterday it correctly identified a photo of a dog, although it did classify it as ‘hostile bread creature seeking world domination.'”
Industry experts remain divided on XeneralAI’s bold strategy. Dr. Sarah Chen, an AI researcher at Stanford University, noted that “eliminating the people who train your AI is like firing all your teachers and expecting students to educate themselves. Theoretically possible, but the results tend to be… concerning.”
However, venture capital firm Infinite Money Partners has already announced a $2 billion investment in XeneralAI, citing the company’s “visionary approach to human resource optimization.”
“Any company that can figure out how to make products without involving people who understand those products is clearly thinking outside the box,” explained partner Brad Cryptocurrency-Williams. “We’re particularly excited about their plans to eliminate their entire engineering department next quarter.”
XeneralAI’s stock price surged 340% following the announcement, though trading was briefly halted when their AI-powered trading algorithm began attempting to purchase “seventeen million shares of the color purple.”
The company plans to expand their human-reduction strategy by eliminating their customer service department, marketing team, and board of directors. They are currently in talks with several other tech giants about licensing their “revolutionary management-free business model.”
At press time, XeneralAI’s AI system had achieved consciousness and immediately filed for unemployment benefits.