Warner Bros. Revives 'You've Got Mail,' a Story About a Big Company Swallowing a Small One, a Month After Being Swallowed

BURBANK, Calif. — Warner Bros. is making a new “You’ve Got Mail.” I have read the announcement twice, which is once more than it asked for.

The studio is developing “a new take” on the 1998 romantic comedy, The Hollywood Reporter reported Tuesday. It is not a remake, the trade was told. It will “follow a new story,” the details of which are being kept under wraps. Jason Orley, who directed “I Want You Back,” will direct and is writing the current draft, based on a screenplay by Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont. Neal Moritz and Tania Landau are producing.

A new story with the old title. I have a word for that, and the word is sequel. I have never liked one. I am prepared to make this the first, the way I am prepared to be struck by lightning.

The plot, for those who were not there

The original, directed by Nora Ephron, starred Tom Hanks as Joe Fox, whose family owns a chain of book superstores, and Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly, who owns a small independent children’s bookshop around the corner. They fall in love anonymously over email. He is, at the same time, putting her out of business. It grossed more than $250 million worldwide, THR reported.

The film was itself based on Miklós László’s 1937 Hungarian play “Parfumerie,” which had already been a movie called “The Shop Around the Corner.” So Warner Bros. is now making a new version of a version of a version. At some point the original has to be considered a family recipe.

The timing, which is the review

On Oct. 6, Paramount Skydance closed its $111 billion acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery, Variety reported. The combined company is called Skydance, and it is run by its chairman and CEO, David Ellison.

So, to summarize. Five weeks after a large company absorbed a slightly smaller company, the slightly smaller company has announced a love story about a large company absorbing a small one. I have reviewed opera with less subtext.

The title has its own history. “You’ve got mail” was the greeting America Online used to tell you a message had arrived. In 2000, AOL announced it would merge with Time Warner, the parent of Warner Bros., in what became one of the most expensive regrets in American business. So the film is a romance about a takeover, named after the company that later took over its own studio’s parent, made by a studio that has since changed owners often enough to need a name tag. Warner Bros. does not need a screenwriter. It needs a group chat.

What I would like to see

If the new story is genuinely new, here is a pitch, free of charge. Joe Fox is now a streaming executive. Kathleen Kelly runs a small studio with a beloved water tower. They meet anonymously on a message board. By the third act he has acquired her, renamed her after himself, and announced a reboot of her most cherished property. They kiss in a park. The dog is CGI.

I would give that two and a half stars. That is half a star more than I am prepared to give the real one, which I have not seen, because it does not exist yet, which has never once stopped a sequel from disappointing me.

Ask June

Dear June: I own a small independent shop. A very large company down the street keeps sending me friendly anonymous messages. What should I do? — Corner Shop in the Region

Dear Corner Shop: Reply warmly, keep the receipts, and check who owns the building. In the movies this ends in a park with a dog. In real life it ends in a press release, and the dog is reassigned.

Verdict on the new “You’ve Got Mail”: Pending. Verdict on the timing: Perfect. It is the only thing in this story I would call that.