White House Opens Kindergarten Classroom for Its Own Staff After Press Secretary's First Week

WASHINGTON — The White House on Wednesday opened a kindergarten classroom for its own staff. It is located in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, down the hall from the people who were supposed to prepare the press secretary.

The program follows the first week of Katie Zacharia, who took the podium Tuesday four days after President Trump named her press secretary.

Her debut lasted 14 minutes. She spent about eight of them reading from a script. She then called on three outlets from a list in her hand: Breitbart, Fox News and the Daily Mail.

Fox News asked whether the United States had stopped sharing intelligence with Ukraine. “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Zacharia said. As of press time, she had not gotten back to anyone.

Asked about balancing the job with her four children, she thanked her family. “So, my president — excuse me, my husband — that’s a good one,” she said. It was, by most accounts, a good one.

This reporter has covered eleven press secretaries. He would like to note something, here in paragraph six. Asked where she passed the bar exam, Zacharia answered, “When I moved to China.” China’s bar exam is open only to Chinese citizens. The State Bar of California says it has no record of her ever being licensed.

Zacharia describes herself on Instagram as “Wife, Mom, & Lawyer.” The Associated Press later issued a correction. An earlier version of its story said her profile showed three heart emojis after “Mom.” It has four.

The new classroom is led by Mrs. Darlene Hutchens, 64, who taught kindergarten in Ohio for 31 years and says she has “seen worse, but not at a podium.”

“We start with circle time,” Mrs. Hutchens said. “Everybody gets a turn. Not just three friends. Everybody.”

The curriculum is posted on the classroom door. Monday is Sharing. Tuesday is “Finishing Our Sentences.” Wednesday is “Who Is My Husband and Who Is My President,” a unit Mrs. Hutchens said “should not need a whole day, but here we are.”

Thursday is Show and Tell. Staff are asked to bring one thing they earned. The law license slot remains open.

Friday is Animals. The lesson plan was borrowed from the president himself. At a rally in Bullhead City, Arizona, President Trump described his cognitive test to the crowd. He said that after the first question, “they show you a lion, a bear, a giraffe and a snake. And they say, which one is the lion?”

He told the crowd he got everything right. He said the people giving the test could not believe it. Mrs. Hutchens has ordered a poster of the lion.

The president also recited the test’s five words, as he has before. In 2020 they were “person, woman, man, camera, TV.” This year they have changed. Video of the rally shows the new list begins with “hat,” “hair” and “logo.” This reporter could not confirm the last two. Neither, it appears, could the president.

This reporter hopes the class will help the president identify more things. He also hopes it will help him use bigger words properly.

The classroom also absorbs some recent departures. Zacharia’s predecessor, Karoline Leavitt, left to spend more time with her family, a phrase Washington has used for decades to mean exactly that, and also the other thing.

At the same briefing, Zacharia announced that Kimberly Guilfoyle had been asked to resign as ambassador to Greece. “She has been a wonderful asset to the team, and we wish her well,” Zacharia said.

Guilfoyle quit within two hours. The Wall Street Journal had reported a string of alleged misconduct in Athens. The reports included an alleged threat to a Greek official and allegedly improper gifts. They also included an alleged offer to use her influence in exchange for someone paying a large credit card bill.

Guilfoyle denies all of it. “These allegations are false,” she wrote, “and I intend to vigorously defend my name, my reputation, and my integrity.”

The president offered a review of her tenure. “She went to Greece. She was doing a good job, but we didn’t like what we were reading,” he said.

Mrs. Hutchens has set aside a cubby. She has also added an afternoon lesson called “We Pay Our Own Credit Card,” with a coloring sheet.

Former press secretary Sean Spicer said this week that he “felt bad” for Zacharia. “You cannot cram for that that soon,” he told a podcast. Mrs. Hutchens agreed, and assigned flash cards.

Enrollment is voluntary. A senior official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he still works there, said attendance is expected to be high.

According to Deep Throat Lozenge, this reporter’s most trusted source, even close associates of President Trump believe he should be attending the new class as well. Mrs. Hutchens said she has saved him a seat near the front, by the lion.